Magic Mirrors

In early May after being influenced by the Cingular commercials for a pink fancy cell phone, I decided it was time to trade in my dinosaur cell phone that I had been dragging around. Pink is good. Flip top is cool looking. I even received a mail-in rebate for an extra 50.00. Although the paperwork was verrrrrry sneaky I managed to get all the information onto their forms and sent off.

Last week I got the Visa rebate in the mail, activated it, and knew just want I wanted to do with this windfall.

I dug through my mail and found the Bed Bath and Beyond coupon for 20% off and headed out the door. Twenty minutes later I was the proud owner of a fancy, wall-hung-magnifying-lit, mirror for my bathroom.

Old age has done a number on my eyes. Wearing glasses since 3rd grade, my eyes have changed more in the last 10 years than I care to explain. With trifocals in my frames, I still stuggle to find the right way to read a book or pluck my eyebrows. Its simply a frustrating matter for me.

Now, with the use of this fancy, schmancy mirror, I will have some extra tools to manage the additional wrinkles on my face.

I read the instructions, pulled out my power drill/screwdriver, and got it hung. Its a tiny bit crooked but still works well in its perfect place next to my bathroom sink. One side is normal, one side is 5X magnified. Oh my! The imperfections I couldn't see before are right there before me. Yikes! But on the positive side, I can finally see my eyebrows!

"Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like." James 1:23-24

Fireworks

Last night we went to a baseball game in Frisco Texas with a group of new friends from church. The stadium was awesome. The sections small enough so a brain foggy woman doesn't get lost on her way to the bathroom. (An essential element to enjoyment of any activity.)

Although very hot, we sat in the shade as the sun went down over Texas and watched America's game.

It has been years since I have been to a baseball game where the players were over 4 feet tall. The last time I was in a ballpark was in the late 60's when I was stuck on the Oakland A's. Back then it was Vida Blue and Catfish Hunter on the field. And between innings and to hype up the crowd, an organ would play. Charge! and Take me out to the ballgame!

Last night I was mezmerized by the gadgets and entertainment. Instead of placarts across the back of the field was one big digital screen that changed advertisements (animated too!) as the evening rolled along. A large screen TV showed a costumed character, Deuce, doing forward rolls, toddlers racing, horses racing, belly flops in the ballpark pool (!) and people dancing to the Y M C A disco song of the Village People. Music accompanied the players as they stepped up to the plate: Seinfeld's theme music, current rock, goldie oldies. And with the exciting one home run by the home team, fireworks exploded over the field in applause. It was a glorious sight and a wonderful surprise seeing the bright lights against the dark sky. We won the game.

This was a bunch of good hoopla for an entertaining evening. I had a great time as a spectator.

Some day a bigger fireworks show is coming to celebrate another victory. And on that day, I won't be a spectator.

"Behold He comes
Riding on the clouds
Shining like the sun
At the trumpet call
Lift your voice
It's the year of Jubilee
Out of Zion's hill
Salvation comes."

Walk On

Back in the spring it dawned on me that I had gathered an additional ten pounds in the past eight years since my hysterectomy. With my 50th birthday looming in the distance, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Well, I took matters into my feet.

I started walking.

I also signed up for a personal trainer at the gym.

I've lost the ten pounds and would like to carve another 5 off this tubby tummy. Its not an impossible task as I have found that my new body loves the walking. I'm still not crazy about the workouts with a trainer who hears no excuses, but I do see progress.

I can do 10 sit-ups now where before I could do none. I can lift weights and do pushups. The aches in my back that had become a normal part of my day as I got up and down from my sedatary office chair are gone. My body remembered it had muscles and the money I've invested in my health has been worth every penny.

The walking is what has surprised me. Its hot in Texas but I still like to get out there and walk. Where my brain was fizzy from days in front of a computer screen with emails and code to decipher, the walk has been energizing to my foggy brain. I can think, replay, dream and pray as I walk my neighborhood, enjoying the fresh (hot) air as I wave to neighbors.

I think the walking project has been my best personal surprise this year as a renewal of my life.

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Is. 40:30-31

Every Day Food

My dogs jump up every morning and head to the kitchen, ready for their favorite event: E A T I N G! With all the excitement, you would think I had cooked up a feast, complete with a variety of flavors and textures, put it out on the fine china and ordered dessert.

Heavens no! In their dog food bowls I pour exactly 1/2 cup of dried dog food: NutraPro, Lamb and Rice. The "lite" version for Dora Mae and her adult body, the normal version for Thelma Lou.

They dance excitedly while I dump the contents into their bowls and place them on the floor. After their food, they head out through the doggy door for a necessity run. And once they have checked out the yard and done their business, Dora finds me. If I am sitting down, she jumps next to me and looks at me with the most precious face. She reaches over (if I'm not careful) and licks my face. She is so grateful for her food. This dog is easy to love.

Lately I've been calorie counting, point watching (if you are on WW you know what I mean), and daily I've been eating a bowl of Weight Loss Oatmeal (with lower calories, higher fiber and protein). It comes in a few flavors but they really are just oatmeal. Its edible but after a while, its more bleah than anything. I sometimes get bummed out, thinking I'm missing yummy chocolate calories somehow.

And then I think of manna. How would I have handled God's daily provision while the children of Israel roamed and browsed through the wilderness? Would I have gotten an attitude and grumbled along with the crowd? I would hope I'd be more like my dogs who get dished the same meal day after day without complaint AND demonstrate gratitude. But I fear not. My oatmeal reminds me I tire easily like the rest of them.

Then Jesus said, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. John 6:35

A Changed Life

In 1998 I had finally finished researching enough to make a decision. I would have a hysterectomy. I had a few pesky fibroids but nothing that was bothersome to my life. I didn't even know I had them as I had no symptoms. So why the need for a hysterectomy (removal of uterus)? I needed my ovaries removed. They weren't diseased either. Shocking. I know.

A prophylactic hysterectomy is surgery that is chosen sometimes based on genetic make-up. Just in case.

My mother was 55 years old when she died of ovarian cancer. She was a first grade school teacher. Loved by hundreds of children and parents within the public schools of Texas. Her cancer was discovered quite accidently on a routine pap smear during her annual GYN visit. Cone biopsy showed no cancer of the cervix. A uterine biopsy proved clear as well. Exploratory surgery found ovarian cancer at a stage that hadn't provided any symptoms at all to her personal health and yet proved too far along in that decade for much hope of survival.

One and a half years of chemo therapy. She died over Christmas break and our lives were forever changed.

Her mother had died in her early 40's of what they believe now was related: breast cancer. And so my sister and I were encouraged to have a hysterectomy and oopherectomy by the time we turned 40 when the risk factors increased.

I waited until the summer I would turn 42. I was in excellent health by most standards. My recovery has been ordinary with the usual struggle at times to find a hormone therapy that worked properly.

It was out of this life changing decision that led me to where I am today. The summer I had my surgery was the summer I launched an online website for women. Women to talk to other women. Support. Help. Kindness. Hysterectomy Support by HysterSisters.

I spend my days energized by the simple notion that women desire to help other women. I am encouraged by the day to day kindness demonstrated by the 30+ volunteer moderators that make sure the discussions are helpful and our website remains organized and kind.

My hysterectomy changed my life. I now have the hope of seeing my children marry and to know my grandchildren someday. But it also provided a day to day opportunity I lovingly consider a ministry.

"Therefore if any [wo]man be in Christ, [s]he is a NEW creature: old things are passed away; behold, ALL things are become NEW." 2 Corinthians 5:17

Houses

I was raised as an Air Force brat, moving every few years. While it doesn't sound like a grand thing to other people, I look back on this way of life with gratefulness. No, its true, I do not have a "hometown" from my childhood. I even went to three different high schools. And even though we moved every three to five years, I can still remember each and every address with fondness.

Mostly.

A few years ago I traveled with my sister to a high school reunion in California. I had attended middle and one year of high school with these folks and it was such a blast to see faces I hadn't seen in over 30 something years. Before we left, we managed to talk our way onto the base and found our house which happened to be slated for demolition along with the rest of the houses on Fitzgerald street.

We peeked into the windows to see the hardwood floors and the old kitchen cabinets. We had lived in this house for over 4 years. We had brought our black wienerdog home to this house. I had gone on my first date from this house. This house was full of wonderful memories to me and I stood looking at the old structure and was amazed at the good feelings I had for a house.

When dad was in Vietnam, we had moved off base and into another house. We tried to find that house too but managed to miss the roads as the streets seemed different and the landmarks changed. I think its probably brain fog that kept us from finding our way to that house on San Dimas.

And now, as I sit in my lovely home with air conditioning blasting down around me and my wiener dogs laying next to me, I am again reminded of the specialness of a house. A home. The comfortable place where we dwell. And live.

" In my Father's house are many homes. If it weren't so, I would have told you. I am going to prepare a place for you." John 14:2

Turning 50

The countdown is on!

I'm turning 50 on August 8th. Instead of moping around and shaking my fist at the calendar, I'm going to embrace it. Enjoy it.

Reason one: I don't have to be twenty again! Oh, I know. Being twenty has its advantages. But I don't want to go back to those days. Don't get me wrong. I had a great decade in my twenties. I got married when I was twenty. I had my two children when I was in my twenties. We bought a house or two and moved more than once. In fact we moved quite often. Job changes were the pits. I spent most of my twenties taking care of my little ones, loving them, playing with them, singing with them, teaching them to read, telling them about Jesus. I also spent my twenties doing without the luxuries many of my friends were enjoying (new cars, new clothes, better furniture) as I stayed home for most of those years, loving those kiddos. I do not regret one bit of time I spent with my children. Today, I reap the benefits of those investment years. I adore those children who are now grown adults. They are the best of my life even today!

But I don't want to be twenty again.

"And even when I am old and gray, O God, do not forsake me,
Until I declare Your strength to this generation,
Your power to all who are to come.
For Your righteousness, O God, reaches to the heavens,
You who have done great things;
O God, who is like You?" Ps 71:18-19